Advocacy: Teaching Kids to Make a Difference

I’ve been thinking a lot about how I’m raising my kids.  I have my own personal check list that I use to judge my own parenting on a daily basis.  Are they happy?  Check.  Are they eating well?  Check. Do they have friends and are they playing nicely? Check.  Are they having a good experience at school?  Check.  Are they safe? Check.  But there is always missing link.  When I ask myself, are they generous?  Not sure.  Do they think about giving to or helping other people? Not sure.  Then I ask myself, what can I do about it?  How can I make them see that there are far less fortunate people in the world?  This is a constant thought.  I once read that it’s important to start teaching how to give back at a very young age, as young as age 3, and that it’s best to treat the act of helping as a family activity.  The trick is to get your kids involved, engaged and excited.  When you decide to do something, involve them every step of the way and get them to think about the end result.

I don’t think that either one of my children, now ages 6 and 8, ever really stop to think about the work that I do for others.   As they have aged, they appear to be more sensitive and, perhaps, more compassionate.

I recently took it upon myself to lead a clothing and toy drive for Room to Grow and I involved them every step of the way.   It was such an easy and simple way to help young children, and an initiative that helped my own personal goals to support under-privilged parents and children.  My aim was to involve my own

Room to Grow is an organization who helps babies and mothers suffering poverty.  During the first three years of development of a baby’s life, they provide assistance that includes developmental information, customized support and baby items to ensure a healthy and secure start for children.   A few months ago, after joining my synagogue’s social action committee, I felt driven and compelled to take the lead on this initiative now…with the hope of involving my kids every step of the way.

Here’s how I made a this simple act of kindness happen and how I involved my kids, with the hope of teaching them that it’s possible to make a difference and impact lives:

• Get your kids involved in the beginning (during the planning phase of a project) and explain what your mission is…IN SIMPLE TERMS. When I decided to run the drive, I told my kids that there are less fortunate kids in the world.  I asked them if they could imagine not having anything to wear or toys to play with.  Using the word “imagine” definitely made the explanation more palpable.  I drafted a flyer, which was distributed widely at the synagogue electronically and traditionally, drafted information for our synagogue’s bulletin.  I told teachers to tell parents about it weeks before the drive.  It was billed as a “Clean Your House in Time for Passover” which had an appeal to people doing spring cleaning and preparing for the upcoming holiday.  And I continued to talk about it at home, so when the time came to start collecting, they would be aware and ready to roll.

• When it came time for the collection, I took my kids to the synagogue  so they could ACTIVELY have a role.  It’s important to get them involved and let them see the service up close and personal.  They both happened to be sick the first day of the drive, so I dragged them both with me to watch all the goods come in, brought by pre-school moms and dads.  I requested items for babies 2 and under only, so naturally many people in the pre-school saw it as an opportunity to purge their closets and give the items to babies and moms who really, really need it.  It was lovely – people brought in garbage bags and boxes full of gently used clothing and tons and tons of toys.  My own children were stunned and watched as the bags and boxes lined the wall.

• The pre-school’s director decided to help teach generosity and empathy to the school’s older children, so on Monday after a weekend of collecting stuff, we gathered the kids in the 4′s and brought them together to sort through the collection.  I placed individual signs on eight tables around the room (Toys, Shirts, Hats, etc.) and we placed pictures of each item on the tables for identification.  The director gave a short introduction and the kids spent the next 20 minutes sorting all the items onto tables.  I hope that they went home to tell their parents about.  It sure was fun watching and helping them perform this helpful act of duty.
  
• My kids were not there, as it was too hard to take them out of school, having been out the day before for sick reasons.  However, they looked at the photos and asked questions and were eager to know how theevent was received.  The fact that young children were involved got them excited to be a part of something they had been talking about.  That’s what it takes: getting them excited about the act of kindness.

• Next week my kids will get in the mini-van with me and watch as I transport the clothing and toys to the Room to Grow offices in New York City.  They will not be able to see the clothing and toys be given to children who need it most, but they will witness their mom shlepping everything  into the car and driving 20 miles to drop if off.  Children need to have role models, to live by example. That’s what I try to do and will continue to do.

After the event ends, I won’t let the project die.  Perhaps I will do it again next year.  Perhaps I will continue to work with Room to Grow.  The point is that I won’t stop trying to make a difference in the world, in small, subtle ways.  What I realize by doing this drive and other projects I have taken on lately is that it’s possible to make a difference.  All it requires is commitment and passion.  By passing on these traits at a young age, I hope to teach them how to be more generous and passionate.

Disclosure: I was not compensated to run this post.  The mission of Room to Grow is to enrich the lives of babies born into poverty throughout their critical first three years of development. Parents expecting a baby are referred to Room to Grow by selected prenatal programs assisting low-income families. Upon their referral, parents visit Room to Grow’s warm and inviting space once every three months from just before the birth of the baby until their child turns three. During their one-on-one appointments with our staff social workers, typically lasting two hours, parents receive developmental information, customized support, and all of the needed baby items to ensure a healthy and secure start for their child.