On Sunday, May 12 at 5pm at Peter Norton Symphony Space on New York’s Upper West Side, the Listen To Your Mother Reading Series will give “Mother’s Day a Microphone” as the city and an inspirational group of women and men come together to celebrate motherhood and parenting in a meaningful new way. Included in the cast of the New York City show are former Editor in Chief of Redbook Magazine Stacy Morrison (now Editor in Chief of BlogHer.com), comedian Jaime Fernandez, New York City creative writing teacher Susan Buttenwieser, social justice attorney and LGBT activist Nívea Castro and author Tracy Beckerman (whose book Lost in Suburbia: A Momoir comes out in early April).

Showcasing moving, socially relevant and humorous stories about a range of modern mothering experiences, the Listen To Your Mother Reading Series is a unique national event taking place this May in 24 cities across the United States. The series features local established writers and performers taking the stage with local first time writers and performers as they share poignant personal essays in front of live audiences, making for an unforgettable experience and a worthwhile way to celebrate Mother’s Day.

Also featured in the NYC cast are preschool teacher and day camp director Sasha Schreiner, actors Laura Pruden and Elizabeth Robinson, Harlem native DeBorah Gray, novelist Rebecca Land Soodak (Henny on the Couch), and writers Mary Beth Coudal, Kim Forde, Nicole Goodwin, Marinka, Barb Patrick, Sofia Quintero (who recently won a Women’s Media Center Social Media Award), Sandy Rustin (who wrote the hit Off-Broadway show Rated P for Parenthood) and Virginia Watkins.

The NYC show is being directed by Broadway and TV actress, The Huffington Post contributor, and author Amy Wilson and is being produced by Varda Steinhardt and Holly Rosen Fink with Shari Simpson as Assistant Director (Amy, Varda and Shari will also be readers at the show).

The NYC production will be donating 10% of proceeds to the non-profit national hunger relief organization Family-to-Family and their Hurricane Sandy relief efforts (each Listen To Your Mother show/city donates 10% of all ticket proceeds to local non-profit causes that support women and families in need).

Born of the blogosphere and mothers who publish online, the Listen To Your Mother Reading Series is changing the way America celebrates Mother’s Day, one story at a time. Started in Madison, Wisconsin in 2010 by humorist and blogger Ann Imig, it has evolved into an exciting national storytelling series and every show’s process, from auditions to rehearsals to the final performances, are shared online via socialmedia. Last year the series took place in 10 U.S. cities and has expanded to 24 this year.

The Listen To Your Mother Reading Series NYC Show will take place on Mother’s Day, Sunday, 5/12 at 5pm at Peter Norton Symphony Space (2537 Broadway at 95th Street). Tickets are $25 (advance), $30 (at the door) and can be purchased in advance online at www.ListenToYourMotherShow.com/NYC.  For more information on the Listen To Your Mother Reading Series please visit www.ListenToYourMotherShow.com.

Disclosure: I am on the producing crew of this show so I am biassed!  Get your tickets now!

As you know from reading this blog, I am associated with a show called Listen to Your Mother and I’m excited to announce that auditions are coming soon!

LISTEN TO YOUR MOTHER is a national series of live readings by local writers in celebration of Mother’s Day. This year Listen to Your Mother will be presented in 24 cities nationwide.  If you want to get a sense of what last year’s show looked like, you can watch our videos here:LTYM-NYC Videos.

We are seeking New York City-area writers and/or performers to read their original essays on any aspect of motherhood in the second annual show, to be held at Symphony Space on the Upper West Side of Manhattan on Mother’s Day – Sunday, May 12, 2013 – at 5 pm.

People of all ages, types, backgrounds, and experience-levels are invited to audition. No previous stage experience is necessary. Non-moms WELCOME (men too!). We encourage diverse perspectives on the subject of mothers or mothering.

We are looking for humorous, poignant, painful, joyful or soulful original pieces on mothers and mothering which take three to five minutes to read aloud (please check this before the audition). Previously published work accepted as long as the author retains full rights or has express permission to read the work for this event.

Auditions will be held on the following dates by appointment only:

Saturday, February 23^th  12pm – 5pm

Monday, February 25^th  6pm – 9pm

Tuesday, February 26^th  10am – 2pm

To schedule an audition, email listentoyourmothernyc@gmail.com. Please include your name and your availability during the time slots listed above. Auditions are being held in Manhattan – exact location and other details will be sent with your confirmed appointment time.

The firm commitment for cast members includes two rehearsals, a pre-performance run-through at Symphony Space, and the 5 p.m. performance on Mother’s Day, May 12th, 2013.

If you are anxious about auditioning and/or performing, read this encouraging post by LTYM-Spokane Producer/Director Stacey: A word on stage fright and storytelling.

Good luck!

Then in high school I left a very academic institution to attend a high school of performing arts.  I thought my life would be like the show “Fame” – kids would dance and sing on the tables in the lunch room and my life would be one big show after another.  Well, I did have a few leads in shows.  I studied Shakespeare, Ibsen, Wendy Wasserstein and Sam Shepard.  But I also convinced that acting wasn’t my calling.  I was awkward looking.  I was sensitive and didn’t have the stamina that an actor needs.  My sisters lived in NYC at the time and every time I came to visit, we spent all our time on Broadway.

So, I moved to New York City, where I’ve spent the last 20 years or so being a real voyeur and connoisseur of the theater world.  I’ve been a little bird on the wall, loving the experience every time I’ve sat down to watch a play.  I’ve saved all my Playbills (it’s a big pile!) and am a proud member of several theaters.

This year something happened.  Because of this blog I actually had a role in bringing two shows to the NYC stage.  It was all quite incidental.  Because of this blog, I have met women with similar interests.  Because of these women, I have discovered my true passion.  Because of this passion, I feel restored.

How did it all start?  At BlogHer in 2010, I walked up to Ann Imig of AnnsRants.com and asked her if I could have anything to do with her show Listen to Your Mother should it come to NYC.   She and Amy Wilson of WhenDidIGetLikeThis.com had led a panel called “From Blog to Page” and I was mesmerized by their words.  I just wanted to have the slightest involvement with the show, given my lack of knowledge and experience in the theatre world.

Ann got in touch with me right when I got back and suddenly, I was involved with bringing an actual show to New York.  And I mean really involved.  I learned the nuts and bolt of bringing a show to the stage. Along with Amy and Varda Steinhardt from SquashedMom.com, I helped to produce a show.  It was invigorating.

When that experience ended, I was depressed.  Where do I go from here?  I was glad to know that there would potentially be another LTYM show a year later and I would look forward to that.  But to have loved something so much and do it on a daily basis.  Would I be able to do that again?

Not much later I saw that Amy was working on a new show called The Best of Everything by Rona Jaffe, a play she had been working on for a long time with her writing and producing partner of 20 years, Julie Kramer.  Craving to have the slightest involvement, I fearfully asked her if she needed help. My hopes were so high and when she embraced the idea and brought me in, I was walking on air.

Photo credit: Leah Michalos

For the last 3 months, I have watched the birth of a show. I have been a part of something so important.  This show, one that Amy and Julie sank their hearts and souls into, is now a bonafide hit, playing at the Here Arts Center in Soho.  Last week it received 4 stars in the New York Times by Ben Brantley, one of the, if not the most important, theater critics in NYC.

After that review, and several other fabulous ones, the show has sold out its entire run and is truly the hottest ticket in town.

How was I so lucky to have stumbled into something I love so much? All because of this little blog. Amy and Julie’s mentorship have been worth a million dollars.

Have you stumbled into your passion through a back door? I’d love to hear your story.

Nearly two weeks ago, I had the chance to watch the magic unfold once again at BlogHer during the LTYM Open Mic Salon.  Led by the amazing Ann Imig, the night was dedicated to bringing in voices from the nearly 5K attendees.  I was asked to work behind the table outside the salon and organize everyone who wanted to speak signed in.  It was thrilling to see so many women fill out the forms, and make their way into the salon to read one of their most poignant posts revolving around Life, Humor or Rants. There was a space on the form for “Prison Nickname” which generated a lot of laughter and chatter around the sign-in table.

My fellow LTYM:NYC 2012 Director Amy Wilson kicked off the evening, reading her hilarious post about Buckyballs from her site When Did I Get Like This. I managed to sneak in to see her reading.  Every time one of my fellow friends and colleagues get up on stage, an enormous sense of pride builds up in my being and this was no exception.  Other people I know sat in the audience, praying that would get called up but only a lucky selection of about 20 got randomly picked.  Several of my friends were fortunate enough to get called upon, and I’m sure it was both satisfying and electrifying to go up and read for a room full of dynamic women.  Ann listed the night’s readers on the LTYM site, check out the list. Other friends of mine who got selected (all random, I had no pull) were Randi Chapnik Myers, Jessica Bern and Julia Roberts.  As I was working outside, I only heard a few, but I did walk in at the end to hear Julia, who read her piece “On this Day of Suicide Prevention” which had me in tears.  I immediately went up to her at the end to let her know its impact on me.  That kind of feeling that you have to hug the person who read is what LTYM is all about. They are that close to your heart.

One of the most meaningful aspects of the show in NYC in the spring was donating a portion of the show’s proceeds to a non-profit, in our case Room to Grow.  The national show raised 6K for charities around the country. Leave it to Ann to choose a charity for this special night to donate to: Violence Unsilenced.  With its mission to educate about domestic abuse, sexual abuse, and violence in general, one of the salon readers spoke up about being  a survivor.  I happened to be in the room to hear her confession and it made everything about the night seem even more important.

I’m so happy to say that I am officially a part of the 2013 NYC LTYM crew, joining my colleagues Amy Wilson, Varda Steinhardt and Betsy Cadel once again.  The memory just keeps going…..

Credit: Jennifer Lee Photography

It’s been two days since Listen to Your Mother hit the NYC stage.  After weeks and weeks of working on the show’s logistics, from finding a non-profit to support… to helping to cast the show to finding rehearsal space… to securing sponsorships… to scouting a location for the cast party, I put my heart and soul into bringing this show to life. I enjoyed every waking minute of it and nourished the experience.  Words can not even express how grateful I was to be a part of it.  I kept thinking that the chance of ever working on a NYC stage production again in my lifetime was slim, so I’d better make the most of it.  And I did.

When the big day arrived, I jumped out of bed and ran to the train, with a flower arrangement, bouquet of flowers and sponsorship materials in hand.  My train got indefinitely delayed well before our arrival in the city, and I called upon my husband to come sweep me up and drive me into the city, knowing very well that he’d have to turn right back around to get my mom and come back.  He didn’t put up a fight and I called him my hero all the way to the theater.  Nothing would prevent me from making my “stage debut”.

And it was glorious.  The cast shone like a star.  We had only rehearsed twice together as a group prior to that moment and had never rehearsed on that exact stage, but every cast member nailed it.  Each performance had an impact on everyone watching, just as we expected.  I stood on the sideline and watched the audience reactions – they laughed, they cried, they sat in awe of their loved ones and of ones they didn’t know.  It all just WORKED so magically and I beamed throughout, thinking about the power of storytelling.   This summer each woman’s story will all be broadcast on You Tube and they will be seen and heard by women around the world.

There are so many other reasons I’m proud of this show.  I’m proud of the money from ticket sales that we donated to Room to Grow, our chosen non-profit; I’m proud that we filled the house at the JCC (we actually sold out within weeks and had people emailing us until the day of the show for tickets); I am proud of the fearless emcee Rene Syler who was the perfect fit for our show and knew exactly what to say between each piece; I am proud of the difficult stories that many cast members told, particularly the brave Cynthia Bastidas and Kate Mayer, who brought audience members to tears; I am proud of the profound impact that Eve Lederman’s story is having on so many women with her follow-up features in the NYT Motherlode story and mention in a story on Jezebel;  I am of proud the cast for creating a room full of laughter and telling stories that we can all relate to; I am proud to have worked with Alysia Reiner, Abby Sher, Deborah Goldstein, Estelle Sobel Erasmus, Howard Margulies, Jonny Schremmer, Kathy Curto, Patty Chang Anker and Una La Marche - all skilled writers and amazing women who I shall follow for life; I am proud to have seen my good friend, Ilana Wiles, make her stage debut and do it so skillfully (and without peeing in her pants); I am proud to have been blessed with the friendship of Kirsten Piccini, who is as beautiful inside as she is out; I am proud to have worked along side three fantastic friends and mentors, Amy Wilson, Betsy Cadel and Varda Steinhardt. And I can’t thank Ann Imig and Deb Rox for showing me that anything is possible.

So, would I do it again?  If given the chance, yes.  But if that doesn’t happen, I have this.  All this.  And so much more.

I’ve learned so much working on Listen to Your Mother NYC.  I’m working with the most amazing women you can imagine on a production we all care about, and been involved in all aspects of the production.  From auditions to casting the show, from finding rehearsal space to the planning the actual rehearsals, to finding the venue for the show and scouting the Upper West Side for the cast party and so much more.  I’ve been milking the experience as much as possible and have been absorbing the knowledge of the phenomenal director, producer and cast, and most importantly the show’s founder and National Director, Ann Imig.  I can’t believe I’m associated with an actual NYC production.  Pinch me.  I was written up in a local paper the other week.   It’s my 15 minutes of fame.

Another bonus is working with the most incredible line-up of sponsors you can imagine.  They are all unique and fit perfectly with the mission of LTYM.  And they are….drumroll, please:

Fresh Direct is the popular online grocer providing high quality fresh foods and popular grocery and household items at incredible prices delivered to the New York area.  Follow them on Twitter at @freshdirect or on Facebook.

Tolani Wine Restaurant is where we’re having our cast party.  Located at 410 Amsterdam Avenue (between 79th and 80th Streets), “Tolani” means “too good,” and that is exactly what this UWS gem is – an unpretentious spot of which you simply can’t get enough. Drawing from the very best flavors, techniques and ingredients from each corner of the world, Tolani Wine Restaurant’s menu brings a culinary adventure to your backyard, marrying authenticity with ingenuity.  You can call to make a reservation at 212-873-6252 or book using Open Table.  You can also follow them on Twitter at @tolaninyc or on Facebook.

Mind Over Matter Health & Fitness is a Manhattan based in-home personal training service providing fitness professionals to you in your home. We offer a variety of disciplines including Personal Training, Yoga, Pilates, and Boxing, all under one umbrella.  Follow them on Twitter at @mindomatternyc and on Facebook.

The Perfect Mom Reform School, run by Lucila McElroy, is a consulting service that offers training and support for women who are ready, committed and serious about creating changes in their lives. It’s for women who are tired of the status-quo paradigms of motherhood, and want to create and design a life of balance that they truly love.  You can follow her on Twitter.

Stephanie Newman, Author of Mad Men on the Couch.  The book is packed with humor and insight about what makes these people tick. Why is Betty such a cold mother, and why does Peggy treat women in the workplace so badly when she herself started on the bottom rung? Questions that may resonate with more than a few of us who interact with people like them in real life. Published by St. Martin’s Press Mad Men on the Couch is a book that will change the way you view the show forever.  Follow Stephanie at @madmenoncouch and on Facebook.

With locations on both the Upper West Side and Scarsdale, Eye Q Optometrists is a great choice for those of us searching for the perfect Optometrist, or the perfect pair of glasses — geek chic or otherwise.  They are located in NYC and Westchester and you can like them on Facebook and follow them on Twitter @eyeqdr for updates and exclusive discounts and deals.

Rosie Hippo brings toys and books and music to children that will help inspire them, teach them about the world — issues like diversity, giving, greening — and help instill good values and a foundation from which to grow.  Their products are made of the finest materials – natural, safe, non-toxic and eco-friendly – to promote the health of our children and our planet: handcrafted wooden toys, toys made from organic fabrics, toys from individuals, companies, villages and cooperatives around the world, and books and games that stimulate creativity and independent thought.  Follow them on Facebook.  Follow them on Twitter.  Get to know this company.

Jennifer Lee is a New York City photographer who specializes in portraiture of newborns, babies, children, families, maternity, and celebrations. Jennifer creates a permanent print of the essence of each child in exactly the way parents wish they could keep their children frozen in time.  Each session evokes a fond remembrance of a favorite stage or age.  You’ll also want to follow her on Twitter, check out her Pinterest portfolio, and like her on her Facebook page.

Freckleface the Musical , based on the beloved New York Times Best Selling book by celebrated actress Julianne Moore, is a play that delivers a very important message to children: to learn to love the skin they’re in. This is a musical for all ages.  There are solid performances, dancing, memorable songs and most importantly, an important message to be learned.  Check out the show on Facebook and follow them on Twitter.  We are rehearsing at the theater where this play is held, the Manhattan Movement and Arts Center at 248 West 60th Street.

If you’re looking for a prenatal yoga studio, look no further than Prenatal Yoga Center.  Prenatal Yoga Center is the first yoga center in New York City to focus on moms and moms-to-be. Over the past 9 years, over 8000 women have come through their door to take classes and workshops on the Upper West Side of Manhattan.  Follow the Prenatal Yoga Center on Twitter.  Like them on Facebook.

The Motherhood is a place where women can gather and be themselves.  Women communicate and are able to have serious conversation through forums and live chats that take place almost daily about topics they are truly passionate about like technology, advocacy, fashion, food, keeping our kids safe and more.  Follow them on Twitter.  Like them on Facebook. Most of all, join their conversation.

Maplewood Swim & Tennis Club is a luxurious club in Hartsdale, NY that has been around for 50 years.  You can contact them at (914) 684-9184.

The Upper Breast Side is New York City’s first breastfeeding resource center and the largest hospital-grade breast pump rental station.  In addition to selling gear, they refer customers to lactation consultants and doctors; hosts a weekly “latch-on clinic” for women struggling to get their babies to, well, latch on; and matches up customers with properly fitting bras. At a counter referred to as the “milk bar,” bleary-eyed new mothers and their partners learn how to work a pump. ollow them on Twitter, LIKE them on Facebook.

Joshua Brandfonbrener is a residential, commercial and institutional architect and can be reached at 917-836-1180.

The Museum Of Motherhood serves as a valuable resource for everyone including those who wish to honor mother-work and those who wish to study the cultural family, from lay-people, to school children to serious scholars. As an organization devoted to educating the world about the contributions of mothers both historically and in contemporary culture, they intend to fill a longstanding void by focusing on the many roles of mothers throughout history with our physical and virtual library, exhibit facility, traveling productions, and resource center. Follow them on Facebook and on Twitter.

Listen to Your Mother NYC is coming to the JCC of Manhattan on May 6th.  For more information, go here.

And I couldn’t help but wonder, how did I get there?  How did I end up precisely in the right spot, as Associate Producer, under a fabulous Producer and Director, working on a show that I care so passionately about?  This thought ran through my mind as I listened to the 15 amazing women read their stories together for the first time.  The words, the emotions, the passion, the desire to be in that room here and now by all of them was so clearly felt.  It was almost as though everyone’s hearts and souls were on display and I was the voyeur.

The voyeur because I am the only crew member not reading in our show. As a woman who has been going through an identity crisis for many years now and as a mom who does not always embrace motherhood and doesn’t really want to write about it, my words are mine and mine alone.  I am not ready to share them with the world until I figure some of this out on my own.

For now, I am honored and awe-struck for being part of group of inspiring women.  For being part of this ground-breaking, important production that is giving so many women a voice around the country.  When the cast tells me what an honor it is to work with me, I feel a rush.  By giving them a microphone, I am giving myself a microphone.

Tickets are on sale soon. If you’re in the NYC area I hope you can come.

Why?  I went to a performing arts high school.  I grew up watching Fame, performing in plays, from Shakespeare to Chekhov (actually my first was “Yentl”) and I flew to NYC as soon as I graduated from university because of my obsession with theater.  Ever since living here, I have immersed myself in this world as much as possible without actually having a legitimate presence in the world….until now.

My new company, MamaDrama, is merging social media and theater in a new and meaningful way and I have finally entered the theater world, recently having worked with amazing theaters and shows from Playwrights Horizons to Godspell to the Transport Group.  It has been an honor and thrill to step behind the scenes while working with marketers, producers and others who are so passionate about theater as I am.

But nothing prepared me for the last few days.  We auditioned dozens of women (and men) to star in our show who came running to sign up as soon as word got out that we were doing this. I’d been in touch with all of them prior to auditions, scheduling their time slots and checking out their blogs (if they had them) to prepare myself for our onslaught of auditioners. We knew we would have a few action-packed, back to back days ahead of us. We literally booked every time slot and had little time to take bathroom breaks, and I was so busy nailing down childcare and moving my work schedule around that I didn’t have time to digest the fantastic opportunity before me.

Little did I know.

The last three day’s auditions in NYC for Listen to Your Mother were an embarrassment of riches for all of us.  We had bloggers, writers, teachers, professional actors, lawyers, therapists, and others tell us about their most personal experiences. They all showed such bravery and courage to open up about very personal issues, some of which they had never revealed to anyone.  They were moving, edgy, irreverent, funny, sweet, loving, gritty, relatable and their words came pouring out of their hearts and souls.  As Ann recently wrote in a post  recounting some feelings about auditions from women all over the country who are auditioning for a slot in one of the ten shows:

LTYM allows this brief window where everyday people stretch themselves far beyond their comfort zones and allow themselves to explore and share parts of themselves often hidden from the world. They expand their view of themselves and their vision for what is possible for themselves, motivated by a desire to become a part of a community of Motherhood beyond the blogosphere or their inner circle–to contribute their stories, have their say, and be received. For those of us on the casting side of the table, we get a fresh view of our community, and I believe a greater sense of compassion as a result.

This was true for me. Listening to these men and women speak about their own personal issues made me think about my own, how my own life has changed as a result of having my kids and how I am not alone feeling the way that I do about so many things.

And also, sitting on the casting side of the table, was truly a dream come true.  For so many years, I have watched actors perform on stage (my stack of theater programs is miles high) and wondered about the casting process.  The studio that our director chose, Ripley Grier Studios was the ultimate place to hold auditions.  Not only did it make me feel like I had a starring role on the show Smash sitting as one of the casting directors at a table positioned in front of the performers, but I am sure that the studiomade all of our auditioners feel the same way. There were professional actors and dancers waiting in the halls to start rehearsals and during auditions, we heard Broadway songs being belted out by some of NYC’s rising talent.

But the loud music and singing didn’t interrupt anyone, and it certainly didn’t bring a halt to auditions.  Every single person put their hearts and souls into their readings, and they inevitably have changed my life as a result.

As you know, I am involved with bringing a wonderful show to NYC called LISTEN TO YOUR MOTHER.  The show is by women, for women, about women, and I have proudly blogged about it here.

Seeking New York City-area writers and/or performers to read their original essays on any aspect of motherhood in the NYC premiere of LISTEN TO YOUR MOTHER, to be held at the Goldman-Sonnenfeldt Family Auditorium at the JCC in Manhattan on Sunday, May 6th, 2012.

People of all ages, types, backgrounds, and experience levels are invited to audition.  No previous stage experience is necessary.  Non-moms WELCOME (men too!). We encourage diverse perspectives on the subject of mothers or mothering.

Auditions will be held on the following dates by appointment only:

                                                                                                           Sunday, February 26 ^th    11am – 2pm

                                                                                                            Monday, February 27 ^th     6pm – 9pm

                                                                                                          Tuesday, February 28^th   10am – 1pm

To schedule an audition, email listentoyourmothernyc@gmail.com. Please include your name and your availability during the time slots listed above. Auditions are being held at a midtown Manhattan (West side) studio. Exact location and other details will be sent with your confirmed appointment time.

We are looking for humorous, poignant, painful, joyful or soulful original pieces on mothers and mothering which take three to five minutes to read aloud (please check this before the audition). Previously published work accepted as long as the author retains full rights or has express permission to read the work for this event.

Commitment for cast members includes two rehearsals, a pre-performance run-through at the JCC, and the 2 p.m. performance on May 6^th, 2012.

LISTEN TO YOUR MOTHER is a national series of live readings by local writers in celebration of Mother’s Day. This year will be the third for Listen To Your Mother nationwide, and the first for New York City.

The NYC premiere is being directed and produced by mothers and theater professionals Amy Wilson (@amywlsn), Varda Steinhardt (@squashedmom), Holly Rosen Fink (@theculturemom), and Julie Nemitz (@stage_mama).

For more information, please visit listentoyourmothershow.com/nyc.  Feel free to email any questions to listentoyourmotherNYC@gmail.com. We can’t wait to meet you!

Source: AnnImig.com

In some overwhelmed moments, I still wish I could just be content with the privilege of affording to stay home raising my kids.  I wish that the business of mothering could fulfill me completely, because my five and seven-year-old boys’ baby days are bygone, and their childhoods feel fleeting. I already have to bribe my boys for hugs. Kisses are completely off-limits. Suddenly this year “Seven” will barely make eye contact with me in his classroom when I volunteer. I asked him if he’d prefer I stop coming, and he replied that while he still wanted me to volunteer at his school, he’d rather I’m not in his classroom. Gulp.

The truth of matter is, however, the isolation of being a full-time SAHM, combined with the neglect of my huge creative ambition from pre-motherhood, drove me to start my blog in 2008–subsequently launching a new career path. My husband travels for work, and I desperately needed an outlet for my 18 hour days parenting a preschooler and an infant, during five months of the longest, snowiest, coldest winter Wisconsin had seen in decades. I started writing furiously. I found an audience. I became obsessed. For the first two weeks after I started blogging I barely slept. Each comment brought an endorphin surge further fueling my elation over the array of other creative adults available online to collaborate and commiserate with at any hour.

Unbalanced might describe those first months—maybe my whole first year online. I’d sneak away at every available moment to write, read or comment on blogs, or even talk to blog friends on the phone. My writing ambitions felt all-consuming, on top of the all-consuming role of motherhood. When I wasn’t blogging, I submitted my writing everywhere I could find. I dreamed of writing a book. While some rejections were hard, seeing my work published and getting paid a few dollars made up for it. As opposed to my theater days when I had to audition in order to act, I found it thrilling that as a writer I could work whenever I chose and from my own home. One of the huge assets of blogging for me became the fact that I had this supportive audience to share my work with on my blog, regardless of my pieces getting accepted or rejected elsewhere.

When I started LTYM I didn’t know I was starting a new career. The requests to do the show came pouring in from other cities and bloggers, and I found Deb Rox–my mentor/business strategist who gave me the confidence and know-how to undertake a national effort. As I began to understand the scope of the project, I soon realized I had to make some decisions regarding my work/life balance. In a conversation with a career counselor I’d worked with for years, I determined that something had to go. You can do a lot of things sufficiently, but you can only do one or two things really well. If I planned on starting my own business, I had to do it really well.

For reasons financial and due to my overwhelming preference, fulltime daycare for my then four-year-old wasn’t an option. I wanted to spend his last year at home with him, and also wanted to remain available to help out at my older son’s school. So, in order to pursue LTYM in a meaningful way that would give it the best chance to succeed, I had to let my free-lance and book author dreams go for a while. Throughout this process came a letting go of my blog aspirations as well, in a sense. I knew I needed to keep the blog for LTYM and my for platform, but I gave up any notion of becoming a “big blogger.” I allowed myself to publish posts only once a week, and gave up much of my reading and commenting on other blogs.

As soon as I made my decision to take a hiatus from my professional writing pursuits, offers came in. I had to say no to opportunities I would’ve swooned over previously. I had to quit and scale-back wherever I could. I knew my commitment to LTYM was being tested—in fact, I expected it. But, after a couple years of giving myself to other people’s projects, it also felt great to put my project first.

All that said, I still struggle with balance. Currently I have more work than ever combined with less childcare than last year. When I encounter LTYM’s slower periods, my writer dreams come raging back and I struggle to find patience. I question my priorities constantly. I still spend wayyyyy too many hours in front of my laptop, and feel like a total hypocrite as I control my sons’ screen time to the minute. I do make sure to spend quality time playing board games or reading with my kids every day. I cook (ahem–prepare) three meals a day. My husband and I make at least a few minutes for each other every day that he’s home. But if you measured who I spend more time with, my laptop or my family? The laptop would win. Next year, with both boys in school full-time, it will be easier to distinguish working time from family time (from exercise time, from marital time from ME-time-DAMMIT).

My online life, LTYM, and writing has brought me so much happiness, satisfaction, and sense of possibility. As I strive for that elusive “balance” I know that even while someone or something gets short-shrift for a time, overall it’s unequivocally worth it. A friend of mine says a good mom is a happy mom. Because of my work that I love –that also allows me flexibility to be with my family–I’m now, for the most part and on most days, a very happy mom. Even if I’m a little unbalanced.