But I have a confession.  I had heard the words “porn” and “bondage” in passing but really didn’t know what I was getting myself into.  I’m a mom (obviously) and I’m always interested when women like EL James (who is really a Jewish mother like me living in London) writes her break-out novels and they sell 2,000,000 copies in one month.

For the first 70 pages or so, I absolutely was intrigued.  It starts rather innocently.  Anastasia Steele is a young English major in her last year of university.  When her valedictorian room mate is too sick to go interview business mogul Christian Grey for the school paper, she takes her place.  Sparks fly during the interview.  Then a somewhat normal courtship begins.  He shows up out of the blue at her job.  He gifts her with a set of Tess of the U’rbervilles, takes her on his private jet and they seem to have a quick and heavy connection.  They go for coffee, they go dancing, it’s sort of normal.

Okay, that part I liked.  There is some serious chemistry going on.  She’s never been in a relationship.  He’s a slightly older man.  Anastasia falls fast and furious for him and I had memories of my own first love and how fast I fell.  He warns her not to get involved with him, we don’t know why, and that’s interesting, too. It’s a fast read, I was curious to see where it was going.

Until page 98 when he presents his RED ROOM OF PAIN.  I kid you not.  It’s his own personal S&M room.  Then he presents his plan.  She’s to become the submissive to his dominant.  He presents a long contract and pleads with her to sign it and become  his slave every weekend.  This is where my intrigue ended and I started to shake my head.  The sex that ensues is to over the top graphic, involving whips, cable ties, spanking, sucking, tongue and so much more. I’m not a prude, and I do have fantasties, but ones like this?  No!

It was around this time that I was on a NYC train and was reading the book.  I had to shield the pages from my fellow passengers in fear of being thought as a pervert.  Seriously.

A few of these raunchy excerpts (these are spoilers if you haven’t read the book) that I’m talking about include:

“Before I know it, he’s got both of my hands in his viselike grip above my head, and he’s pinning me to the wall using his lips … His other hand grabs my hair and yanks down, bringing my face up, and his lips are on mine … My tongue tentatively strokes his and joins his in a slow, erotic dance … His erection is against my belly.”

“I pull him deeper into my mouth so I can feel him at the back of my throat and then to the front again. My tongue swirls around the end. He’s my very own Christian Grey-flavored popsicle. I suck harder and harder … Hmm … My inner goddess is doing the merengue with some salsa moves.”

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