When I talk to her, I’m shifting my memory back to my own childhood and sharing my own stories with her so she can see that she is not alone (” When I was your age…”). But of course, even though I can remember a semblance of something that happened to me when I was her age, I really can’t put myself in her shoes.

So, when we speak about any issues that she’s having, it’s often difficult.  Between peer pressure, school, homework, after school activities and her own transitions, she has a lot going on.  Sometimes it’s hard to know exactly how to talk to her.  Do I treat her like an adult?  When I do, we often go in circles because it’s hard for her to see past they way she thinks.  This is because at this age, a tween doesn’t really know what she doesn’t know, so she assumes she knows everything and will fight tooth and nail to prove her point.  After all, she’s still a child. She has time to learn.

But there are changes.  She once held onto my every word and reveled in my lusciousness.  Now she gets moody.  She closes doors when she wants to be alone.  Last week when I picked her up at school, she was in state.  Upset that we were walking home, upset that she would be starting a tennis lesson with her brother, desperate to stay home and watch TV.  Her behavior was peculiar but I chalked it up to the fact that she had an off day, that she just didn’t feel like walking home.

Nonetheless, when we got home, she asked to speak to me alone.  Believe me, I am so grateful that I am still her confidante.  We are very close.  She told me that a group of girls had “yelled” at her, including her closest friend. But when I asked for details, she said, “I don’t remember”.  She cried yet never opened up about what happened, and within 24 hours, it was forgotten. 100% forgotten.

But I wonder what was said.  I wish I could shield her from any pain coming her way, albeit peer pressure or any sort of negative situation. I don’t think I’ll ever find out.

In the mean time, I’ll work on getting her to open up. We’re extremely close and there is very little that she doesn’t tell me.  That was the hardest thing to grasp about our chat.

How do you get your tweens to open up when they shut down?

Disclosure: I’ll soon be writing about my experiences raising a tween regularly on Kidzvuz.com.  

But when I get an invite that I know is going to mean something to them, I don’t dare decline.  It was pink and glittery and very Barbie official.  Plus, it was for Fashion Week event, something I had never taken part of, and called “Barbie’s Dream Closet”.  Irresistible.

We headed into the city early on a Saturday morning to Lincoln Center which was buzzing with Fashion Week events.  As we entered a very large pink room at the David Rubenstein Center, we were handed glasses of champagne and swept away to have our nails done.  Then my daughter had her hair done while we munched on gorgeous appetizers like smoked salmon sandwiches and grilled cheese dipped in tomato soup.  All the while, we were surrounded by walls and walls of pink shoes, Barbie outfits and real life models dressed up wearing Barbie’s favorite clothes.

Then we wandered into rooms with augmented-reality mirrors where my daughter could try on some of Barbie’s favorite outfits and visualize herself dressed in them.  This was a huge hit withher and she had 5 or 6 of her favorite choices printed to bring home as memories.  Over her head were the models  leaning over balconies from their Barbie like rooms.  Yes, it was incredibly surreal and magical.  Heaven for a little girl like my own. Her head was spinning in delight.

The room was pink and vibrant and full of fashion writers, fashionistas and celebrities.  We got glimpses of Kelly Rutherford and Brooke Shields as they explored the room with their (extremely adorable) children.  My daughter made several outfits for her Barbies, with help from an actual couture designer from the Barbie brand and she tried her hand at designing her own Barbie clothes via marvelous colorful sketches.  Needless to say, we stayed at the event for 3 hours.

For a first Fashion Week event (for both of us!), it was very impressive, truly the ultimate event for my little tween.  We were both given bags of Barbies on the way out.  I received a Collector’s Shoe Barbie and I love it.  Who says we have to grow up?

Disclosure: I was a guest of One 2 One Marketing and opinions expressed are my own.

So, when given the opportunity to preview new fall/winter tween books published by Simon & Schuster arose, we jumped at the opportunity. She started with Rachel Renee Russell’s Dork Diaries: How to Dork Your Diary.   Following the tale of Nikki Maxwell and her search for her diary, my daughter learned how to keep her own diary in the pages with blanks and suggestions for her to write down her own thoughts.  She took great pride in collecting her thoughts and every time I’ve gone into her room recently, she has protected the book, telling me not to read her carefully recorded secrets.  She took the book on our recent trip to Atlanta and delved in to it with a heavy heart on the plane.  She’s really looking forward to reading Dork Diaries 2: Tales from a Not-So-Popular Party Girl, which, debuted at #4 on the June 27th New York Times Bestsellers List, continues with things looking up for Nikki as she adjusts to life at her new school and new friends Chloe and Zoey.  When I left my daughter tonight in bed, she was half-way through.

Heidi Heckelbeck Has a Secret by Wanda Coven is about a little girl much like my daughter herself.  She’s also 8 years -old and has a little brother who annoys her.  Heidi is starting a new school and has to deal with a bully who turns her first day into a nightmare.  With a little bit of carefully concealed magic, Heidi might be able to give Melanie a taste of her own medicine and decides to use her “special powers” (she thinks she’s a witch, I have been led to believe from what my daughter said about the book).  I like the fact that my daughter  is reading a fictionalized account about how to deal with bullies as we’ve yet to encounter bullies ourselves (knock on wood).

Other soon-to-be-released  books on our shelf from the Simon & Schuster collection include Odd Girl In by Joe Whittemore, Katie and the Cupcake Cure by Coco Simon, Candy Fairies Caramel Moon by Helen Perelman, Goddess Girls Aphrodite the Beauty by Joan Halub, Confessions of a Wannabe Cheerleader by Zoe Evans, Trading Faces by Julia DeVillers.  My daughter will be reading all season!

A little about Simon & Schuster Children’s Publishing, one of the leading children’s book publishers in the world, is comprised of the following imprints: Aladdin, Atheneum Books for Young Readers, Libros para niños, Little Simon, Little Simon Inspirations, Margaret K. McElderry Books, Simon & Schuster Books for Young Readers, Simon Pulse, Simon Scribbles, and Simon Spotlight. While maintaining an extensive award-winning backlist, the division continues to publish acclaimed and bestselling books for children of all ages. In addition to numerous Caldecott, Newbery, and National Book Award winners, Simon & Schuster publishes such high-profile properties and series as Eloise, Olivia, Raggedy Ann & Andy™, Henry & Mudge®, The Hardy Boys®, Nancy Drew®, The Spiderwick Chronicles, Nickelodeon’s® Dora the Explorer^TM, Blue’s Clues^TM and SpongeBob SquarePants^TM, and Mirage studios’ Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles™.

Disclosure: These books were provided to me to facilitate this review.

Here’s how it works:

First, choose an item of clothing (from dresses, t-shirts, denim jackets & more) and color. Then, it’s time to embellish! Pick from thousands of graphics, appliques, ribbons, tulle underlayers & rhinestones to create a truly one-of-a-kind look. Finished designs can be shared to family & friends. Even better? You can have your outfit made to order & shipped to your house within 2-3 weeks!

Here’s where it gets good: The Culture Mom & FashionPlaytes.com has teamed up for a great Secret Sale. Open only to my readers via this special link, you’ll have a chance to shop the best of FashionPlaytes at discounts of 40% and more. Their quality is wonderful, so why not jump on this wonderful opportunity!

Build your own one-of-a-kind and stylish FPmodel! Choose from great hairstyles & facial features to be yourself or another fun character. Dress your FP model with the clothes you designed & show ‘em off! Next, head to the Collection Room where you can decorate with hundreds of fun items like couches, rugs, lamps & photos to match your individual style! Finally, create a Stylebook where friends and family can “like” your fashions.

I’m SO excited to announce that Fashion Playtes is giving TWO lucky The Culture Mom readers $25.00 credit EACH to make their own customized fashion! 

WIN IT: To enter, go to the Fashion Playtes homepage, click Design Now at the top of the page, and tell me which piece of clothing you’ll choose to start your custom fashion if you win in the comments below. Open to U.S. only, enter by Wednesday, November 9th at 11:59 PM EST.  Winners will have 24 hours to claim their prize, or I will have to offer it to the runner-up.

BONUS ENTRIES: Earn a bonus entry for each of the following that you do or have done. Leave a separate comment for each-

• Subscribe to The Culture Mom feed in a reader or by email, leave a comment telling me which way you subscribed.
• Stumble the post, submit to Digg, delicious, Mixx, Reddit, Propellor, or other social bookmarking sites. Leave the URL in your comment.
• Blog about the giveaway with a link back to this post. Leave a comment with the URL.
• Facebook-Friend me on Facebook and post the link to the giveaway on your Facebook wall. Leave a comment with the URL.
• Follow The Culture Mom on Twitter and tweet the link to the giveaway, you can use this: Win $25 credit from @FashionPlaytes, 2 winners, enter by 11/9 http://bit.ly/urpnD7

Disclosure: These giveaways were provided to me free of charge and I have received no compensation to administer this contest.  Fashion Playtes will be responsible for shipping the prizes to the winners, which I will choose randomly.

How Zuzee Works:

Girls bring their favorite photos and Zuzee provides the inspiration and tools they need to create their own personalized photo books, cards and more. Once designs are created, girls can share their photos and words with their friends in a secure environment. Zuzee keeps it fun and fresh with interactive quizzes, ongoing creative inspiration, new design concepts and virtual gifts that celebrate Zuzee friendships.

Why It’s Unique:

An inspirational place to create lasting memories

Zuzee.com is this generations’ record of their lives. Zuzee inspires with tools that let girls bring their photos to life in personalized books and cards. It enables girls to record precious memories and share them with friends!

A creative online community just for tween girls:

Tweens are creative from the core. They love to draw, design and share. Zuzee.com was designed just for them. It offers a safe community of their own where they can get creative as they share and collaborate with their own circle of friends.

A secure environment parents can feel good about:

Zuzee was designed with safety in mind. The site follows all online privacy guidelines and offers extensive controls enabling and empowering parents to monitor and control what their children do across the site. Friends can’t be added and designs can’t be shared without parent consent.

The Cost:

The basic Zuzee design experience is free but to get exclusive designs, gifts, icons, and save an unlimited number of designs, girls can get a Zuzee All-Access Z Pass for an annual subscription of $34.99 or $4.99 per month.

Founders:

The founders of Zuzee are parents, who wanted to design a place for girls to create and connect online in a safe and meaningful way.

SPECIAL INTRODUCTORY OFFER:

The Zuzee All Access Pass Z Pass is absolutely free.  With the Z Pass, girls will get access to extra designs, special user icons, gifts and an unlimited catalogue of personal designs that they can save in their Zuzee account. After the introductory period, members can continue enjoying the all access Z Pass with an annual subscription for $39.95 or $4.99 per month.  (The Zuzee Basic membership is free!)

Learn more at www.zuzee.com, and follow the zuzee team on Twitter at @zuzeeparents or Facebook.

Disclosure: I was not compensated to write this review.