I don’t know about you but I’m drowning in information.  Lists, lists and more lists.  Classroom lists, sports team lists, business contact lists, book club lists and more!  Every time I come home from a meeting or conference, I bring home lists, emails and important information to manage.  I’ve been conducting a tireless search for a solution to put an end to all this paper for the past few years, and I may have lucked into a tool that will help me.  It’s called Ringya, a new FREE mobile app that easily transforms paper contact lists into smart mobile lists by sharing a photo.  Ringya puts entire contact lists at your fingertips so you can easily call, text or email individuals or groups of contacts that you wouldn’t have added one-at-a-time to your address book. It can save you time and stress from scrambling to find a contact list within email archives because your work, class, or team contacts are right at your fingertips. You can also share electronic lists by uploading digital contact lists to rings@ringya.com, or get contact lists instantly onto your phone by simply accepting an invitation to a list (“Ring”) created by someone else.  And the beauty of all this?  It’s really, really easy to manipulate – take that from someone who’s not as tech savvy as I’d like to believe I am.  I truly believe that Ringya is about to whip my disorganized existence into shape!

During the Jewish holidays, our families look to us to lead them through. Some of us are looking for ideas. How do we make Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur meaningful? How do we keep things interesting without breaking tradition? Are a round Challah and some apples and honey really enough?

Join me and MamaDrama on Twitter this Thursday night at 9pm EST…the ultimate diaspora…for a special High Holiday hour. We’ll talk about our traditions, food/recipes and all things Rosh Hashanah (and if you want to throw in talk about Yom Kippur, why not?  We just haven’t thought that far ahead). We’ll swap ideas, recipes and stories.  Ring in the New Year, Twitter Style.

When: Thursday, September 13th, 9-10pm EST ( (8-9 pm CT; 7-8 pm MT; 6-7 pm PT)

Hashtag: #HighHolidayHappyHour

Moderators: @peekababy, @primetimeparent, @mommymusings001, @randomhandprints

Prizes:

*Two (2)  Manischewitz bundle of goodies, great for makin’ some fab Rosh Hashana meals

*Two copies (2) of  Get Cooking: A Jewish American Family Cookbook  &  Rockin’ Mama Doni Celebration

*Two sets of Hot Mamalah: The Ultimate Guide for Every Woman of the Tribe and Cool Jew: The Ultimate Guide for Every Member of the Tribe by Lisa Alcalay Klug

RSVP: Let MamaDrama know here if you plan on joining and please invite your friends.  The more, the merrier!

Shana Tova from all of us at MamaDrama!

A still from BULLY (Weinstein Co.)

If you haven’t heard about the controversy surrounding the upcoming film, BULLY, you’ve been under a rock.  Last week its studio, the Weinstein Co., lost its appeal to overturn the movie’s R rating, falling one vote short of the 2/3 requirement.  Harvey Weinstein was so upset that he claimed he was considering taking a “leave of absence” from submitting his films to the MPAA for ratings. That earned a fresh wave of publicity for the film, as well as a significant spike in conversation around the issue of bullying and a massive 100x increase in conversation about the film on Twitter.  Weinstein wants as many teenagers and kids to see this film since bullying is such an important issue so it can help solve the problem.

Directed by Sundance and Emmy-award winning filmmaker, Lee Hirsch, BULLY is a beautifully cinematic, character-driven documentary.  The film follows five kids and families over the course of a school year. Stories include two families who have lost children to suicide and a mother awaiting the fate of her 14-year-old daughter who has been incarcerated after bringing a gun on her school bus. With an intimate glimpse into homes, classrooms, cafeterias and principals’ offices, the film offers insight into the often cruel world of the lives of bullied children. As teachers, administrators, kids and parents struggle to find answers, BULLY examines the dire consequences of bullying through the testimony of strong and courageous youth. Through the power of their stories, the film aims to be a catalyst for change in the way we deal with bullying as parents, teachers, children and society as a whole.

• The Promoted Tweets from @BullyMovie, the film’s Twitter account, were seen by millions of users around the country, who were highly engaged with the topic:
• The #BullyMovie campaign had an average engagement rate of more than 36%, meaning that one out of every three people that saw one of the Promoted Tweets took action in some way – by retweeting, replying to or favoriting the message, or clicking through to watch the trailer or sign a petition to change the film’s rating. This far surpassed the average 3-5% engagement rate for Promoted Tweets.
• Twitter users retweeted messages from the #BullyMovie campaign thousands of times, and mentioned the film in more than 7,800 Tweets.
• The best performing Tweet –“Watch the @bullymovie trailer and join the fight to STOP BULLYING in schools: chn.ge/Afgpmt VIDEO: bit.ly/znJ8C0” – attracted over 17K clicks and 1,190 retweets and an engagement rate of 37.5%.
• Views of the BULLY trailer jumped by nearly 10x to 213,000 views.

As the success of the #BullyMovie Twitter campaign exemplifies, the support for this cause is growing every day in a very grass roots way. A Change.org petition, started last week by Michigan high school student Katy Butler, urges the MPAA to change the rating on BULLY from R to its deserved PG-13 rating. Just yesterday, the petition received an exponentially large amount of signatures – 200,000!

I personally applaud Weinstein and Butler and I urge you to sign the petition.  Hopefully, more people will get to see BULLY than the MPAA has plans for.

Check out the trailer here:

CHANUKAH FEVER! WITH MAMA DONI & THE MAMA DONI BAND

WHERE:          JCC Rockland, 450 West Nyack Rd., West Nyack, NY 10994
WHEN:             Sunday, December 11, 4:00 p.m.
TICKETS:         In advance: $8 members, $12 non-members; at the door: $10 members, $15.00 non-members.
INFO:                845-362-4400.  http://www.jccyofrockland.org/

WHERE:           Mandell JCC, 335 Bloomfield Avenue, West Hartford, CT 06117
WHEN:             Saturday, December 17, 6:30 p.m.
TICKETS:         In advance:  $10 members, $12 non-members; at the door: $12 members, $15 non-members.
INFO:                860-231-6316 .  http://www.mandelljcc.org/

WHERE:           Kaplan Cooperative Preschool at United Synagogue of Hoboken, 115 Park Ave., Hoboken, NJ  07030
WHEN:             Sunday, December 18, 10:30 a.m.
TICKETS:         Synagogue members $10.  Non-members $18. Kaplan preschool students, free.
INFO:                201-222-9696.  http://www.hobokensynagogue.org/

WHERE:           92nd Street Y, Bronfman Center for Jewish Life, Buttenwieser Hall,1395 Lexington Ave., New York, NY 10128
WHEN:             Sunday, December 18, 3:00 p.m.
TICKETS:         $15
INFO:                212-415-5500.  http://www.92y.org

The band celebrates Jewish culture with irrepressible zest in its interactive family rock concerts filled with catchy pop songs that break the mold of traditional Jewish music. Quirky, offbeat, and unpredictable, The Mama Doni Band offers up a contagious and unexpected blend of reggae, rock, disco, Latin, klezmer and “Jewgrass” – all woven together with a hip Jewish sensibility.

Mama Doni promises plenty of surprises throughout this year’s Chanukah concerts, including giveaways of chocolate gelt, Mama Doni CDs, posters and free downloads of Mama Doni songs to everyone in attendance.  Kids will boogie like a dreidel, air guitar with the band (“Latke Man” style), join in an applesauce vs. sour cream rock-along, and chime in on the eternal question of “Chanukah” or “Hanukah.”  Rocking out for Chanukah, Mama Doni & The Mama Doni Band will perform such latkelicious songs as “The Funky Gold Menorah,” “La Vida Dreidel,” and “I Say Chanukah (You Say Hanukkah!).” The band will go all out with a wild bluegrass version of  “Honey, This Ain’t Money” (about Hanukkah gelt), and, as a special treat, several new songs will be showcased, including the soon-to-be-famous “The Land of Sufganiyot” (a reggae song about jelly doughnuts).  Hip young kids and their even hipper parents, grandparents, aunts, and uncles should come prepared to get up and dance at these spirited Jewish rock concerts.

Now on The Culture Mom, you can win A FAMILY PACK OF FOUR TICKETS to the 92nd Street Y show on December 18th.  The tickets are valued at $15 each, so that’s $60 for the package.  In addition, everyone who attends the concert will get a free copy of her CD Shabbat Shalom.

To enter, leave a comment below with your contact information (email or twitter handle). Open to U.S. only, enter by Wednesday, November 23rd at 11:59 PM EST.  Winners will have 24 hours to claim their prize, or I will have to offer it to the runner-up.

BONUS ENTRIES: Earn a bonus entry for each of the following that you do or have done. Leave a separate comment for each-

• Subscribe to The Culture Mom feed in a reader or by email, leave a comment telling me which way you subscribed.
• Stumble the post, submit to Digg, delicious, Mixx, Reddit, Propellor, or other social bookmarking sites. Leave the URL in your comment.
• Blog about the giveaway with a link back to this post. Leave a comment with the URL.
• Facebook-Friend me on Facebook and post the link to the giveaway on your Facebook wall. Leave a comment with the URL.
• Follow The Culture Mom on Twitter and tweet the link to the giveaway.

You may not know this about me, but I am a big feminist.  The funny thing is that I’ve been married 10 years, and my husband just found that out about me! Yes, sad but true.  As even steven are things are in my house…some of the time…sometimes we agree to disagree and vice versa.  When it comes to domestics, parenting, food, discipline, education, work, sleep, dealing with emergencies and more, we can certainly disagree.  I rarely talk about it on this blog or anywhere online.  My husband is very private and has forbid me to, basically.

But this Friday night, I am going to be vocal.  I’m joining Momentum for a BIG Twitter Party called “Rule the House” at 9pm EST.  Dads (and moms)  will come weigh in on the debate with topics about who performs what duties better, who can take charge the quickest, and which side really “rules the house”. It would turn into a serious debate, or there might be a lot of bickering and screaming.

Follow the #RuleTheHouse hashtag and either #MomRules or #DadRules, depending on which one you may be, and follow @hollypavlika, as well as all the party hosts for the Rule the House party!

The great group of moms includes:

Kelly Loubet, @Childhood
Holly Rosen Fink, @theculturemom (me, of course)
Kelli Catana, @kellidaisy
Tracie Wagman, @Helpwevegotkids
Mara Shapiro, @ChickyMara
Michelle Kay, @thedomesticexec

And the daring dads are:

Collins Batchelor, @CollinsBat
Yours Truly, @TheDaddyYoDude
Jeff Bogle, @OWTK
Tshaka Armstong, @Tshaka_zulu
Vincent Daly, @CuteMonsterDad
Joe B, @ManvDadhood

Please join us on Twitter this Friday at 9pm EST for the “Rule the House” brought to you by Momentum. There will be prizes given out throughout the party.   Check out the “Rule the House” Facebook page for more information and the legal terms and conditions.

Disclosure: I am not being compensated to co-host this party and all opinions expressed are my own.

If you read this blog regularly, you know I love theater.  When I lived in NYC, I literally went to see shows a few days a week. Theater is in my blood and my soul, only I have never worked in it.

That’s why I am part of the team behind a new company called MamaDrama NY.  We are bringing the best of theater and the moms blogosphere together.   It’s a collection of the best Mom-focused websites in the blogosphere giving you the real deal on the best shows for discriminating, theatre-loving parents, like me and like you.  And don’t let the name fool you: it’s not just about plays for moms and dads, it’s about all theater – from Broadway to off-Broadway and more.

We’re kicking off everything with MOTHERHOOD OUT LOUD presented by Primary Stages.

When entrusting the subject of motherhood to such a dazzling collection of celebrated American writers, what results is a joyous, moving, hilarious, and altogether thrilling theatrical play. Utterly unpredictable, MOTHERHOOD OUT LOUD shatters traditional notions about parenthood, unveils its inherent comedy and celebrates the deeply personal truths that span and unite generations.

Tonight I’m hosting a Twitter Party at 9 PM EST at hashtag #MotherhoodOL.   Head over to Twitter (we’re at @mamadramaNY), Tweetgrid, Tweetchat or Tweetdeck to join in the fun.  Some of the show’s producers will be at the party, as will many of the bloggers who saw the show yesterday at a special performance.  We’ll be giving away tickets to the show and other great prizes.  We’ll be chatting about a few of the topics covered in the show – pregnancy, our moms, how it’s possible to feel like an imposter at the park, gender identity issues, the SEX TALK and becoming an empty nester.  These are only a few of the many issues covered in this terrific 90-minute play.

I’m not allowed to give the play a proper review as it’s in previews, but I do want you to know that I loved it.  As soon as I heard a character it the delivery room say “Billions of women have done this!” and go on to relive the pain, epidurals and contractions, I knew I was in the right place.  There was so much I could relate to: sleep deprivation, my dislike of park time, getting excited when my kids finally both started full time education this year and more.  The writers they chose to write about each topic are spot on, and they do include the fabulous Beth Henley.

“Motherhood Out Loud” has a new “Share Your AHA Moment!” feature on their blog.  Did you have an AHA moment as a parent?  Something you might have thought to yourself but didn’t vocalize?  A piece of wisdom.  A challenge.  A revelation about parenting.  A gripe.  A heated reaction to a situation.  A scenario that made you want to scream or hold your tongue.   Anything you’d care to share/get off your chest?   MOTHERHOOD OUT LOUD is featuring them on their site.  Something short and candid….a pithy statement or two…..or a video.  Now’s your chance to tell it like it is and hear what other moms are proclaiming Out Loud.

If you aren’t following “Motherhood Out Loud” on Facebook and Twitter, now you can.

If you’re looking to see the show, as it’s only in the theater until October here’s a code that will get you $5 off the ticket price BWWMOM.  Just go here to purchase tickets.

But aside from that, I see tweeting as part of the package.  When I agree to review a place, I don’t just blog it.  I tweet. I Facebook. It’s the whole package.  Asa  blogger, you want to get information out to as many people as you can virally.  It takes work.  It takes time, sometimes time away from the family.  I thought I had explained this all to my kids, but they’re young, and as much as blogging has become an important part of their life in the last two years as it has in mine, they don’t understand completely.  My daughter asked me to stop tweeting several times this weekend, and I obliged.  But believe me, it wasn’t enough to ruin the good time we were having.  I’m not the type of person to tweet when I’m in the company of other people, but when I am reviewing a place or event, tweeting is part of my work and I take it seriously.

Fast forward to our arrival back home.  We got home late yesterday.  I spent the evening unpacking our new pottery (picked up at Olde Mystic Village) and our belongings.  I realized my house was, once again, filled with clutter and went around trying to de-clutter.  Our microwave wasn’t working, so I had to deal with that.  And my daughter had a sleep-over.  Do you really think I spent the evening on my computer?!  Plus, it’s Labor Day and I take it seriously that it’s our last summer weekend.  So, today we spent the day at the beach.  That was always the plan.

Before we left for the beach, I did a bit of work, but my company has an amazing sale and I wanted to check in on that.  I was on the computer for a bit, but my kids were watching TV and they weren’t being ignored in the slightest.  They seemed to be enjoying themselves.

At one point, just as I was going out for a run, my 6 year old son asked me to give him lunch.  Then he asked me to sit with him to go over a birthday catalog to choose items for his birthday party (which is in two months).  I acquiesced and sat with him, made him lunch and gave him my attention.

Then I picked up my phone.  It was disabled for five minutes.  I couldn’t imagine why.

I waited five minutes and tried to get in again.  It was then disabled for 60 minutes.

Needless to say, this went on all day.  Fortunately, I went to the beach.  Took a long swim in the Long Island Sound, watched my daughter bury her friends in sand, gazed into the distance to see the sailboats go by….all for the last time this summer.  The beach closes today.

Meanwhile, my son innocently had watched my husband and I try to figure out what was wrong with my phone all day.  He was silent.  Didn’t say a word.

So, tonight, just as the sky was falling and everything was going wrong in my house, he confessed.  Here is what he said:

“Mom, you know how you were ignoring me when we were in Mystic because you were on your phone the whole time…tweeting? Well, I got tired of that and decided to change the password.  Only I don’t remember it.”

There’s so much at play here.  First of all, it’s kind of sweet and kind of horrible.  Do I win the Worst Mom of the Year award?  I’ve done a lot of things wrong in my time, made a lot of parenting mistakes.  But tweeting?  Mom bloggers get flack for not paying attention to their children when they’re writing and doing their thing, but I’ve never agreed with that stereotype.  For me, social media has parlayed into opportunities and new skills.  How am I ignoring them when I’m planting seeds for a new business and more?

But that’s not important right now, is it?  What’s important is that my son feels ignored.  So ignored that he had to take serious action and lie about it all day.

I have never pretended to be mom of the year.  I do my best.  Mothering has come natural at times, and not at other times.  I don’t use this blog as a platform to promote my angst as a mother, but believe me, there is much of it.  I want the best for my children, but I want the best for me, too.

While we were in Mystic, I needed a break.  I stepped away and went to the movies.  I know what’s good for me, what makes me a better mother.  Taking a small break did the world of good to me.  My family didn’t want me to go, but I went and I have no regrets.  I was a better mom the next day. Who can fault me for that?

How would you feel?  Has your child ever taken a criminal action against you for not paying as much attention as you should be?

I hate to admit this publicly as I know these days, these years, are flying by.  All the moms around me seem to love the long days of summertime.  No routine.  No schedules.  Freedom to do whatever. Many have gone on vacation over the last half of this month.

We went on vacation at the beginning of summer and I really hadn’t thought about how chaotic or agonizing these last few weeks would be.  During the last week of camp, I started to get nervous. Not only have I recently increased my hours at work, but I’ve picked up other projects that require me to work practically full time, some days from home, some away from home.

In addition, I’ve got pretty demanding kids, a boy and girl.  When they are left to their own devices, all they do is bicker and fight over something trivial.  As soon as they wake up in the morning, he’s on top of her, pulling on her, begging for her attention.  All she wants to do is sit in front of the TV quietly in the morning.  Problem is, he always wants her attention. He’s very needy and he truly thrives on routine.

I know I’ve been working too long when my son comes to my computer and starts thumping the keys. Unfortunately, it’s happening too often.  A sign that something is wrong and my balance is off.  I won’t deny it. I have to fix it.

So, how have I managed?  It’s been hard.  I’ve used the boy next door a few times to come over to watch them, as well as an old babysitter.  I enrolled them in a soccer camp for a week, despite the fact that my daughter has told me countless times, “Mommy, I’m not into sports.  I like art.”  I sent my son to an art camp for a few hours at a time, one that you could just walk into without a reservation.  All at great expense, if I might add.

My requests to my husband to come home early were often rejected, and he felt that I sound more and more like a feminist because I kept shouting out claims of unfairness.

Am I blaming anyone?  I can’t.  I’m not blaming my husband or my kids, although I’m sure I gripe about it.  I think that because i grew up under my mother’s careful eye, who stayed home while my dad was at work, I set my own situation up the same way with my own family.  They rely on me.  They need me to pick out their clothes. They need me to tell the babysitter what they should eat for lunch and dinner. They need me to call their friends’ moms and schedule play dates, which is sometimes more painful than anything. They need me to make plans for them to get to the beach and pool.

Otherwise, they wouldn’t go anywhere or do anything.  My husband works hard, and long hours, he’s the bread winner in this family.  I can’t expect him to do half of what I do.

And you know what?  As hard as my days are, and as much as I might complain, I get a lot of satisfaction from it.  Who the heck knows.

But what I can tell you is that through blogging and (especially) tweeting, I know that I am not alone.

When I tweeted about the fact that I don’t take my kids to the playground enough and my daughter was bored after 5 minutes on the playground, I got this response:

When I tweeted about being home with the kids, combined with no electricity caused by Hurricane Irene, I got these two:

And on my feminist remarks:

Yes, that’s Christy Turlington herself, one of my recent role models.  Did that make me feel better?  Well, yes.

Source: Daily Mail

This afternoon I was lying sick in bed, tapping away on the computer, briefly noting the tweets flashing at the top of my screen, when one made me look up in disbelief: “Amy Winehouse reported dead in her home at age 27.”  I quickly went online to see if the rumor was true and couldn’t find anything.  For several minutes, there was nothing reported, so I thought it was another of those Twitter fake death rumors.  Then Huffington Post released an update reporting her death, and then all the news outlets began to follow their lead.  Surprisingly, CNN was slow to pick up the story, probably because they were so engaged in the whole Norway tragedy..quite understandably.  However, the rumor was quickly confirmed.

And then the horrible tweets started to appear.  Many tweeps started saying her death is no surprise.  Many called it predictable.  Many referred to her song about rehab as foreshadowing what was to come.  Many seemed to think she almost deserved to go to the grave.  I had to literally abandon Twitter for the day.

I have just returned from London, where I toured the London Museum of Jewish Life.  Amy Winehouse was prominently featured as a Jewish Londoner who had made it.  Featured on the same wall as Marc Bolan and Frankie Vaughan, she was clearly considered a super star on her home town.  That goes for saying, she was a super star all over the world.

“Back to Black” is an incredible album.  Just think: she made it age 22.  As a singer, she had soul.  Since its 2006 release, I’d been eagerly awaiting her follow-up album.  I’m so sorry that she won’t live to make it. Her voice was strong and and reminiscent of Ella Fitzgerald and Aretha Franklin.  I have never stopped listening to the album and adore the words in all her songs including “Love is a Losing Game,” the rhythm in “Tears Dry on Their Own” and the soulfulness in “Wake Up Alone.”   Listening to her music will never be the same.

Back to those horrible tweets. Yes, Amy Winehouse had problems.  Can you imagine trying to recover from addiction publicly?  She had no privacy, no peace.   She became famous overnight, and much of the time, she acted like she didn’t want the fame.   Her trips to rehab, her arrests, walking off the stage mid-performance.. she never really regained her footing after her Grammy win.

So, please have compassion.  Amy Winehouse has a family who are in pain right now.  Her dad, Mitch, was en route to NYC to play at the Blue Note to promote his new album.  He recently stated in the NYT that he owed his music career entirely to her.  I can’t imagine how he’s feeling now.  No parent should ever have a child go before they do.

Now Winehouse is apparently joining the “27 club” for dying at the young age of 27 (how weird is that?).  She’s joining the ranks of Janis Joplin, Jimi Hendrix, Kurt Cobain and Jim Morrison.  Imagine how different the music industry would have been if they’d all lived.  I feel the same way about Amy Winehouse.  She had a lot more music inside of her, waiting to be produced.  But it never will be.

Don’t need a trip to the beauty shop, ’cause I love what I got on top.
It’s curly and it’s brown and it’s right up there!
You know what I love? That’s right, my hair!
I really love my hair.
I love my hair. I love my hair.
There’s nothing else that can compare with my hair.
I love my hair, so I must declare:
I really, really, really love my hair.
Wear a clippy or in a bow
Or let it sit in an afro
My hair looks good in a cornrow
It does so many things you know, that’s why I let it grow
I love my hair, I love my hair
I love it and I have to share
I love my hair, I love my hair!

This is a song that I can’t stop singing…and for so many reasons!

If you haven’t seen or heard about the You Tube video “I Love My Hair” that’s produced by Sesame Street, you must.  All I can say as a 40 year-old woman with unruly, curly, dark hair is “Hallejeullah!”  I had so much angst over my head of hair, which I sometimes called a mop on my head.  There’s a lot of viral talk online about how encouraging this video has been to black girls and women who have the same curly locks issues, but I haven’t read about the reactions from other white women like myself who grew up with the same kind of nappy hair.  That’s the great appeal of the video – it speaks to all of us who have hair issues in our lifetimes…I being one of them.

This video has been posted all over the place- on Afrobella, The Fashion Bomb, Styleite, Fly, Essence, The Huffington Post, CNN and there are loads of comments all over You Tube, Facebook and Twitter, both positive and negative.   The You Tube video has gotten nearly 800,000 hits and now Willow Smith, Will Smith’s Daughter, has come out with a follow-up song and video called “Whip Up Hair” (which Sesame Street also produced a follow-up You Tube video in response to rather quickly) which is drawing even more attention to the original video.  Personally, I prefer the original but love the way that the nine-year-old  is bringing attention to little girl’s self esteem issues.

Joey Mazzarino, the head writer at Sesame Street, created this song for his adopted daughter from Ethiopia, Segi.  He says he has watched her struggle with her curly hair issues and it’s daily struggles.  She looks at her barbies with straight, silky hair and wonders why she looks different than they do.

So where was this video when I was growing up? I used to stare at my dolls’ hair and wonder why I, too, looked so different.  When I was in 3rd grade, I woke up one day to a whole new head of hair.  I went from having straight, fine brown hair to curly, kinky, unruly hair.  It literally looked like I’d been electrocuted.  My hair no longer matched anyone else in my family – my sisters had smooth, straight hair.  My mom kept her own hair short, but there was no afro when she let it grow.  She didn’t know how to handle my new hair.

For years I wore a headband or ponytail.  My hair embarrassed me.  It didn’t know which way to go, up or down.  It was hard to brush and terribly hard to manage.  Going to the hair dresser was more agonizing than going to the doctor.  I would have rather had surgery than a haircut, I kid you not.  The stylists didn’t even know what to do with my hair  and would inevitably say the wrong thing about it, sending me home in tears.  One day we were in a hotel lobby in downtown Atlanta, and there was a conference for African American women about hair products.  We talked to some people and found out what products they were using to calm down their hair.  That was all I wanted to do, calm my hair down, make it straight and fine.  So, then my mom started taking me to salons in downtown Atlanta to get my hair relaxed, using strong chemicals.  My hair smelled like hot oil and the results backfired.

Finally, later in high school, my mom found a hair dresser who had hair like mine.  She agreed to do my hair in her apartment.   She finally told me my problem with my hair: I had to let it go, let it do whatever it needed to do, let it go free.  My hair wasn’t meant to be up in a ponytail, it wasn’t meant to be pushed underneath a headband.  I had big, curly hair that needed to go wild.  She taught me to love it and I found newly formed curls, and on the days that it would go into an afro, I embraced my differences.  She changed my life.

After I moved to New York as an adult, I discovered curly hair products like Ouidad, Curlisto and now Devachaun.  I have been going to stylists who specialize in curly hair since I moved here and I’ve embraced my hair.  I love it.  Some days are better than others, particularly when it’s humid or raining.  It doesn’t always look good, but it’s mine.  It’s part of my identity – a little quirky, a little unpredictable, a little spontaneous – just like me.

But as a child, it embarrassed me.  I didn’t look like anyone in my family.  I sure wish I had this video to let me know that I wasn’t alone.  Even then, I was stuck with the same images that African American children have to deal with – barbies with straight blonde hair and Disney princesses with straight tresses.  Now we all know what needs to happen: we need barbies and princesses with nappy hair!

While writing this piece, a few books come to mind that teach this same kind of lessons to kids:

Nappy Hair by Carolivia Herron

The Colors of Us by Karen Katz

We’re Different, We’re the Same and We’re All Wonderful by Bobbi Kates

This video is exactly what all children need.   It projects an image of a girl who accepts herself for who she is.  I hope that its message reaches little girls across the globe.  We all need to embrace who we are.

How do you feel about this video?  Can you relate to my childhood?  Please comment and tell me.  It’s so good to know when you’re not alone.