11Feb

Guest Post: Cultural Event General Etiquette Rules (Straight From a Mom’s Mouth)

Chrissie DiAngelus

A few weeks ago I was in New York City for the annual Arts Presenters Conference. As a performing arts professional, this conference is the big national conference drawing presenters, programming directors, artistic ensembles, producers, managers and agents from all over the nation and globe. Besides the business side of things, there is ample opportunity for all delegates to take in full performances and showcases.

This year I made it a point to check out as much family/children’s programming as possible. I represent two theater and dance companies in this genre and it’s helpful for me to see as much as possible – to compare and contrast the styles, the technique, the artistic quality, and of course, gauge audience interaction.

One such performance was at Symphony Space on a Sunday morning. It was quirky acrobatic circus company with an 11am curtain advertised on their family series. I sat toward the back of the space (it was their downstairs black box theater) and took in the audience – a good number of colleagues from the conference as well as a slew of families and kids ranging from babies up to about age twelve. In front of me, I soon discovered, were two rows of children about 6-7 years old who were all there for a birthday party. As the show started and the zaniness and hilarity on stage ensued, the audience ate it up and there was a lot of laughter and interaction – perfect. This is what any artist, programming staff and audience members what to see and experience.

What they didn’t witness though was the slow chaos unfolding in front me: The birthday party children were jumping up out of their seats, indignantly shouting over and over again each other about what was happening on stage, complaining about how hungry they were, and generally acting like kids, but in particular form because of the time of day, their hunger, and because they were surrounded by and egged on by their friends.

I have a toddler so I know how things can get. That said, I was still frustrated that I couldn’t enjoy the performance because the behavior of these kids made it hard for anyone around them to see, hear, or concentrate. I wondered why there were two full rows of kids for a birthday party and only three parental chaperones spaced between them all. I wondered why on earth one would take kids this age to a show that started at 11am – lunch time – knowing so many were probably up at 7am eating breakfast. I wondered how many of these kids had a clue as to where they were, what they were seeing, and just an overall guide from either mom or dad or the chaperone as to general theater behavior.

We all want to expose our children to culture but there are some general etiquette rules that we should all consider before taking our infants, babies, toddlers, preschoolers, and youth to cultural events, particularly to the theater.

•Find out the age range for the artistic presentation. Even if it says “Families and Youth,” read the synopsis and call the box office to find out if really does make sense for you to bring your child.

•Consider the logistics: Food, changing, toddlers that like to run, kids that like to talk. Is the venue conducive to this? Is it kid friendly? In the case above, I don’t think it was smart to haul 15+ kids under the age of ten to the theater right before lunch.

•Start the theater etiquette conversation early. You’ll adapt it over time to suite their age and needs but get into the habit of having the conversation a few days prior to and leading up to the event about what they should expect, what they are allowed to do, etc. Every theater and every program will differ.

•Go knowing there may be a meltdown and you may need to leave. Set the expectation a little lower so you aren’t beyond disappointed that you spent $25 per ticket and the child was having a bad day and you needed to leave.

In the aforementioned case, I’d have suggested taking a few less kids to my child’s party (maybe 5 kids total), either eating beforehand or else having snacks on hand, and bringing along enough chaperones so the kids were spaced out appropriately. Moreover, as a parent and theatergoer myself, I’d have taken responsibility to make sure my own child as a guest had a clue about what to expect when he was there and how to act. If I was the one hosting the party, I’d have spoken the few kids about theater etiquette prior to seeing the show.

Needless to say, raising cultured kids is an ongoing process but one I love and am committed to daily. I follow these general rules myself whether it involves us attending a Justin Roberts concert at West Chester University near me in PA or involves a train to NYC to see something clever at the New Vic. I encourage all parents to embrace the theater going experience with their kids but to do so thoughtfully.

Chrissie DiAngelus is a mom and entrepreneur. She is the founder of Piccadilly Arts, LLC, a boutique agency that manages and represents a select roster of family and youth focused theater artists. For the 2011/2012 season, Piccadilly Arts is pleased to offer exciting and imaginative programs by the New York City based Treehouse Shakers and the Pittsburgh based Zany Umbrella Circus. Both artists perform in venues and schools nationwide. Piccadilly Arts also specializes in branding, marketing and social media consulting for small-midsized companies, and the arts, culture and nonprofit sector. Chrissie has one little boy, Mitchell, who is almost 3 years old. He loves trains, his stuffed Frog, the Australian Grug story books, and lots of cultural excursions. Twitter: @londonmodgirl.

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