Do I feel like I missed out on anything by my mom not being home? Nope. Would I have been a different person? Who’s to say. I think my mom taught me the best way she knew how and gave me a good foundation to build great character. Would I change my childhood experience if given the opportunity? Nope! I wouldn’t have had it any other way.

I think the objective for any mom should be to be present and accounted for with your children, whether you’re at home with them for 8 hours or for 2.

I remember the first day I headed back to the office after my second child was born. When I walked out the front door I had a big smile on my face. Ten minutes later on the train into the city, I was still excited but uneasily wondering if I wasn’t going back to work too soon.

That media still gives this discussion importance is lame. This is not a debate that should take place at all. There is a bell curve for mothering. We can find examples of praiseworthy women who are stay at home, work at home or work outside the moms. Equally, though, there are plenty of women who are crappy moms and that has nothing to do with where they work or whether or not they work.

Frankly, I’m tired of the finger-pointing at moms (especially by other moms) who have made a different parenting choice. A woman’s decision to spend time on paid employment does not make her a bad mom, nor does it make her kids psycho, drug-addicted, criminals. Nor does choosing to stay at home with the kids make a woman a saint and her children angels.

We need to stop putting all the pressure and responsibility for perfect kids on moms. There’s more to great kids than a mom who is home when a kids walks through the door in the afternoon.

Sometimes I do wish I had embraced the SAHM period of my life more when I look back, but I prefer going away to work and coming back to be a better mom than I was all those years ago.

Just being there isn’t enough, obviously. No matter what a person’s job is, whether in or out of the home, other parts of life are distracting. I think that women who work outside of the home (or are much better than I at compartmentalizing) are better at shutting off distractions than women who are more physically available. And that matters.

Basically, I believe that a mother needs to make her decisions based on what is best for the entire family, herself included. When children see you happy and taking ownership of your life’s decisions, they learn to respect those decisions. I certainly hope my kids learn to respect the job of a parent being at home more than I respected it in my mother. And that will take a lot of people changing their minds about their own feelings towards that role – not just mine.